I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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