it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
