Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
