you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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