If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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