He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
