I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
