John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
