Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
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