Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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