I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
