I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
