you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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