we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
