Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
