I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Text me some of your sweat
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
