How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
