I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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