haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
