What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
