apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
