This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
