Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Houston, we have a squirter
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
