Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
