guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
