Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
So vagazzling was a success
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
