hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
