The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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