I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
