I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
