Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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