My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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