He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
