Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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