I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
