dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
she pinky promised me she was 18
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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