we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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