Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
