Im at strip club and am horny
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
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