This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
