3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
