I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
