weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
