Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
