I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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