was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
