explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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