so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
