the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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