Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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