As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
