Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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