Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
