my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
