his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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