You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
