The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
