My girlfriend figured out who you are.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
