Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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