I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
