we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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