We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
