12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
